When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Randomize
