I think im going to throw up on grandma
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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