Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Randomize
