What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
NoShamevember. You game?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Randomize
