Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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