well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
