I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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