Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
