haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
