lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm eating all of the evidence.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
