Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
