she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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