My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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