Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
