shes about as inviting as chlamydia
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
