i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
