george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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