Only a mothe r could love this liver
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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