is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You pole danced in your parka.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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