Your dad touched me again.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm getting married
To pizza
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
