bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
