You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
