I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
