i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
