I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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