is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
