i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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