So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
