it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
