this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
