There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
