do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
