Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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