Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
