I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Well I just put wine in my tea
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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