he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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