I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
