Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
The power of my boobs compel you
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
