Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
