In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
