it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
