We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
