capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
