We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
