today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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