You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
What a dumb baby whore.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You were trust falling into bushes
I would fuck him just for his dog
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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