You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
