This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
