he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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