don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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