Don't you send me to vm
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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