Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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