He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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